hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
