Sry I called you an 8
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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