Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
