So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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