just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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