you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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