Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
