So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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