WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
