Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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