In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
