You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
