Duck Duck Cougar?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
