Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
