this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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