maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
