If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
