does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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