playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
