I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
