This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
