new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
