Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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