I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
