Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
