Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's shark week go big or go home
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
