omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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