Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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