why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
