I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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