Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
