2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
