why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
