we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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