is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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