thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
