I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
