He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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