I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
