Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
