Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize