What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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