Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Two words: nipple clamps
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