Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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