Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
