it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
