last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
