and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
