She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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