i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
