Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
